Willing Heartbeats

Tuesday, March 04, 2014 Posted by Katie

I was grateful for the heat of his body next to mine. I reached my arm over him and held him as closely as I could despite the challenge of my pregnant belly between us. He was home from the hospital, and he was going to be OKAY.

I was grateful for the heat of his body next to mine. He was alive. And he was sleeping peacefully.

But his heart was still not behaving. I could rest my head on his chest and hear the arrhythmia. Surgery would ultimately be necessary.

I had read recently that often when a couple is laying closely together like we were, somewhere in the stillness, their heartbeats may begin to fall in sync. I lay there, holding tightly to him, WILLING his heart to beat in time with mine.

Yet, I had no such power. And so, helpless but hopeful, I just held him.

I was thinking of that night as I was reflecting on this week’s theme. All along, I had been imagining that WE were the ones holding on to God, hoping that our heartbeats would fall in line with His.

But the truth is, it is we who are held.

It is we who are sleeping, unaware that our hearts are not behaving.

It is He who holds us as closely as He can, WILLING our hearts to beat in time with His.

Yet, in all His sovereignty, God relinquished such power. He cannot make us love Him.

And so He holds us, grateful for our very lives, doing what he can to encourage a closeness that may someday entice our hearts to beat in time with His.

Amen.