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A Whisper of a Moment

A Whisper of a Moment

For many years I managed under the delusion that big change requires big time. When in reality, sometimes all you need to implement big change is a moment. And then another moment. And another, and so on. Moments can move mountains.

God has been using moments to move my mountains this year.

If you are a regular reader, you know that my family has endured several major losses this year. Even as I write this, I feel the pressure (perhaps imagined) to “quit writing about that already”. But the thing is, and those of you who have suffered loss like me know this...the grief is still there. Some days it feels as fresh as the first moment I discovered one of my loved ones was gone.

It doesn’t seem right. Time should move that along. We should be “all better” now. Sometimes I remind myself of the extent of my loss. Losing three loved ones in almost as many months would be exceedingly hard on anyone. And then sometimes I pressure myself to brush off the grief and move bravely into a new day because, after all, life must go on. And in the midst of this tug-of-war, I am not functioning like I used to. I hate that. I keep trying to make that stop.

What’s puzzling to me is that I seem to have no control over grief. Grief remains whether I choose it to or not. What’s the deal?

I asked God this one night recently. As I said, I haven’t been functioning at full capacity this year and I was feeling defeated (big change requires big time...and this will take forever). And in a whisper (which is how you speak to someone to whom you are sitting very close),  He said to me, “Learn about grief. Dive in.” If you know me well, you know I avoid depressing books or movies. It's a self-care thing. But God reminded me of “A Grief Observed” by C.S. Lewis. And in less than five minutes, I had it downloaded on my Kindle, and on page two I found this:

“No one ever told me about the laziness of grief. Except at my job - where the machine seems to run on much as usual - I loathe the slightest effort.”

In a moment, a big part of me healed. “That’s me”, I thought. That’s me.
My mountain just moved. Perhaps just an inch. But it moved.

Big change. Small moment. One whisper.
That's what I'm learning about God this year. What about you?




Katie Pickard is your server today! Find out more about her here and don't forget to sign up for updates by email or RSS before you go.



Wednesday, July 23, 2014 | Read more...
Unending Waves

Unending Waves

Yesterday I spent the day at the Oregon coast.  Oregon is one of God's beautiful ideas.  I love the landscape and personality of this state.  The Pacific Ocean is endearingly framed by this land.  

I had some time to spend standing on a beach, watching colossal waves crash against rocks, then peter out near the shore where a group of carefree children where jumping and splashing and dancing in the white tides.  The Lord was speaking to me of His goodness.

Do you see the ocean, my daughter?  You can not fathom it's depth or it's breadth, and greater love have I for you than this.  My goodness towards you - my delight in you is like the waves, crashing on the shore, a rhythm with no end.  You think you have missed out, but look there again - another wave is coming.  And another one follows.
And another.
And another.
My love towards you is unrelenting.  

A young girl dancing in the waves caught my attention.  She was running to and fro in the tide, giggling with glee when she stopped and smiled at me.

"Is it too cold?" I asked wondering if the Pacific Ocean's frigid temperatures had given her toes a jolt.

"No," she she proclaimed, "I'm laughing because the waves are so BIG."

I smiled in agreement.

Jesus, open my eyes to see the goodness that pursues me.  And may I giggle with delight at the Truth that the love you have aimed at me is bigger than I could imagine.

"And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is." Ephesians 3:18


Sara Rust is your server today! Find out more about her here and don't forget to sign up for updates by email or RSS before you go.



Monday, July 21, 2014 | Read more...
Life Lessons

Life Lessons

It may be summertime, but school remains in session for your spirit.  God is fascinated and delighted in the journey of revealing to us who He is - and who we are in Him.  This week our servers are dishing up some delicious nuggets of things we are learning about our Father and about ourselves.  Grab a few napkins.  

This could be juicy.



"Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known." Jeremiah 33:3



Sara Rust is your server today! Find out more about her here and don't forget to sign up for updates by email or RSS before you go.



Monday, July 21, 2014 | Read more...
A Legg By Any Other Name

A Legg By Any Other Name

I was 13 when Charles and I started dating. He was a great guy then, and still is.

The problem was his last name.

Legg.

“If we got married my name would be Debbie Legg. [long pause] Nah, that’s not going to work.”

I know, right? You can literally hear the laughter from heaven. Picture with me The God of Angel Armies, one hand pointing toward me, the other one slapping His knee, saying, “BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Just you wait, My Child, just you wait.”

Seven years later I married Clinton Legg (no relation).

Charles and his fiancĂ©e, Valerie, decided the “coincidence” was fun enough to graciously invite us to their wedding. We spent the reception being introduced as The Leggs Who Were Not Related.

Of course, being me, I had to clarify and add, “That’s correct! We’re the right Leggs.”

Ya just can’t make this stuff up.

God has continued to use me as a source of laughter.

“Let’s make city girl Debbie a farmer’s wife!” (I have enough material to write a sitcom but they already made Green Acres)

“Let’s give her a second Miracle Baby! So what if she is 37?” (Covering the gray hair alone is gonna cost me a fortune)

“Debbie, I have the perfect name for your production company—Talk Your Legg Off.” (It doesn’t mean I always do, only that I can)

Stay tuned. Maybe His next adventure for me will be called Pulling Your Legg...

Debbie Legg is your server today! Find out more about her here and don't forget to sign up for updates by email or RSS before you go.
Thursday, July 17, 2014 | Read more...
The Check Is In The Mail

The Check Is In The Mail

I have, in my time, experienced both seasons of financial plenty as well as those of need. If I’m feeling whiny, I might say that the seasons of need seem to be my lot in life.

They aren't really, though. And often, in those rough seasons, I have received that proverbial “check in the mail” just when I need it. I once found a cashier’s check in my office for the exact amount of the mortgage payment I couldn’t afford, for a home I couldn’t sell (remember those days?). Anonymous giver. Wow, dude.

I once literally got a check in the mail from someone who simply asked me to pay it forward someday. (I intend to.)

And recently, I actually had a friend help pay for Phillip’s medical bills. Remember that cancerous tumor? Yeah, we maxed our out-of-pocket insurance expense for 2014. Those bills are now completely paid off. (Thanks)

Truly, I have no business complaining about financial need. Because no matter how close to the edge I have ever been, I have never...not even one time...been unable to pay my bills. I have been frighteningly close...much like standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon staring at my shoes while God is shouting, “Check out that view!” (For the record, God, I am not a thrill-seeker. You should know this, having created me and all.)

So a couple of weeks ago, I was out walking with my mom, WHINING (like a child) about how I am never one of those people who gets those “checks in the mail” when I need help. I went so far as to whine that if God does truly “favor” some folks above others, then I must be on the loved-but-not-favored-list. I was having a day, and totally throwing a fit about it.

You ever heard one of your kids throw a fit and say something out of line?
Me too. I usually give them the “look” and follow up with a stern “I heard that.”

As providence would have it, when I got home from my whine-around-the-block, I opened my mail. Lo and behold...a check!! Yes. For a whopping...wait for it…

$1.79.

God said, “I heard that.” And I had just gotten the “look”.
I knew it.
He was listening. He is always listening.

And then...I laughed out loud. I’m pretty sure the Lord God Almighty was LOL-ing too.



Katie Pickard is your server today! Find out more about her here and don't forget to sign up for updates by email or RSS before you go.



Tuesday, July 15, 2014 | Read more...