I Thank My God Every Time I Remember You (Philippians 1:3)

Tuesday, December 31, 2013 Posted by Katie

My 2014 isn't starting out so great, but I am determined and inspired that it will get better. We are writing about dreaming big this week at the Daily Fast Fuel. I do indeed have big dreams, but I have to preface them with a little background story...

Saturday night I lost someone very dear to me. My 20-year old niece, Becca Pickard, died suddenly and unexpectedly due to an unintentional Tylenol overdose. Our family has been hanging on very tightly to each other this week just trying to make it through.

Becca was a rare soul. She was one of the kindest, most compassionate people I had the privilege to know. This week, Becca's Facebook page has blown up with messages from friends, a countless many who remembered her as their "best friend". That is exactly how she made people feel.

I was also rereading some recent email messages between Becca and me this week. Not too long ago, she lost her job and was pretty down about it. I had reached out to her, encouraging her to look at this moment in time as an opportunity...to pursue anything she wanted. This is part of what I wrote:

"Sit down with a journal and start writing down even your wildest career dreams. Pray over them. Then start exploring. You might be surprised what doors God might open. You can do anything! I, for one, can't wait to see what it will be."

I couldn't wait to see what God would do with her life.

I learned this week that Becca had gotten a new job (although I understand it was a difficult one). And my heart was broken as I learned that she had accepted it with the plan that it would provide the flexibility to return to school to pursue something she absolutely loved.

And now this.

She was pursuing her big dreams. I couldn't wait to see what God would do with her life. And now she is gone.

I was lamenting this awful truth to my mother-in-law yesterday. We shared our grief for a moment, and then Mom pulled away and, I believe, the Holy Spirit spoke right through her.

We can still look forward to what God is going to do with her life.

Think of all the lives Becca has touched.

Think of all the folks who may not have known a concept of faith except through her.
We may, in fact, never know the full extent of what God is going to do with her life.
God's work through her is not finished.

I hadn't thought of it that way.

Before this weekend, as I prepared for this week's post, I only ever thought of big dreams for my life. I never really considered dreaming dreams that were directly intended to affect the lives that I would someday leave behind. My legacy.

So that changes things up a bit.

I am dreaming differently, though I haven't worked out how to articulate those changes yet. I will think of that, perhaps, next week.

This week, I will be thinking of my Becca-girl, and how she inspired me, loved me, and left me wanting more. As one of her friends posted on her Facebook page, I hope someday, to touch as many lives as Becca did.

God is continuing to do great things with your life, my sweet niece. Only now, you have the privilege to watch his great plan unfold from one of the best seats in the house.

I wish we were up late talking about poetry and great books this week. It is still hard to believe that you are gone. I miss you. I love you. Thank you for having a heart big enough for us all.

"...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." - Philippians 1:6