Jazzy Love, Fleeces, and Why I'm Too Old for This

Wednesday, April 17, 2013 Posted by Katie

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Answered Prayer? Yes, please.

I had a big one this Sunday. Before I tell you about it, let me first offer an opinion. I am far too old and have been a believer for far too long to be prayin’ for proof, in an overt and obvious way, that God loves me. I should be beyond fleece-throwing (Judges 6:36-40), especially when it comes to God’s love for me. I know better. I truly do.

Confession? I prayed for a show anyway.

On Sunday, I got it. Phillip and I attended a different church this last weekend and the service, to me, was like a dozen roses wrapped up in a bow with a card on top “To Katie, with love, from God”. Seriously. If you’ve been reading DFF for a while, you know that I have lived in many places and cultures. But my home place, my heart, is southern Louisiana. And if you play Jazz in my presence, you will have my very soul’s attention.

Sunday, worship was led by the phenomenal 7-piece Jim Cullum Jazz Band. The WHOLE SERVICE was one favorite gospel/hymn after another. Interspersed with the melodies were both the background stories of the lyrics and the composers. Powerful testimonies. Powerful music. Powerfully moved heart and soul.

The best part? Remembering that I had prayed for a show…and gotten one. I teared up throughout worship. I cried on the way home. I played Jazz all afternoon, my heart full of love for a Fella who heard me, answered me, and (as was confirmed to me AGAIN) really does love me.

As I began my week, I wondered why God humored my silly request to prove His love. And why did He go all out? By Monday afternoon, I believed I had my answer.

Monday afternoon, we were all reminded that we do not live in a safe world. Folks around me all reacted differently to the news of the Boston Marathon bombing. I, personally, was gripped with fear. Fear for myself. Fear for my family. Fear for my children. Oh, dear God, my children…

Tuesday morning, Noah suddenly, and desperately, didn’t want to go to school. In my fear, I wondered if his words were a premonition. What if something happened to him? I began to think of all the things I didn’t want to expose him to…crowded public events, movie theaters, schools with insufficient security, airplane rides…

I am too old and have been a believer far too long to live in fear. But here I was. And then I heard words in my head… “perfect love casts out all fear.” (1 John 4: 18)… and I thought, “I wish”.

I know better. And because God, in His grace, had just overwhelmed me with a huge show of his love, I began to pray another simple prayer… “God take away my fear”…and I believe He will do it.

I pray this for myself. I pray it for you. And I pray it for my children, so that one day when they’re old enough to comprehend the kind of world they really live in, they will be able to face it with courage.

I am anticipating an answer to this little request in an overwhelming and powerful way. Perhaps I will wake up one day with the courage of a lion and an internal soundtrack…a little 7-piece Jazz band playing their hearts out…

Oh when the saints, go marchin’ in…oh how I want to be in that number…

Then I’ll write and tell you all about it.
Peace to you, my friends. May you rest in His love this week.

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