Seasons of Decisions

Wednesday, February 22, 2012 Posted by Sara

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He knows everything.
He knows me better than I know myself.
He knows how this would all turn out whichever decision I make.
So now I just need Him to tell me what to do.
Ever feel like that? Like why can’t God just throw you a bone?

Over the last several years I have found myself in two very distinct seasons concerning decisions and my walk with the Lord. And I imagine I haven’t seen the last of either season.

When I was a missionary in Southern Illinois I asked God about everything. What I should do with my day, who to serve, what to eat, what to buy – you name it, I wanted to know what God’s desire for me was. It never felt silly to ask Him so many questions, and I never got the impression He was rolling His eyes at me. I think in that season I was really learning how to hear His voice and how to respond to Him. He seemed to have an answer for every question I could throw at Him. And I loved it; it made things simple.

But a few years ago, I starting asking God questions and getting strange replies, like this:

Me: God, should I move to Texas or California?
God: Well, what do you want to do?
Me: <Awkward silence> Um. I’m sorry. No, really – what should I do, God, what would bring you the most glory? I want to do whatever you want me to do.
God: I want you to do what you want to do. So…what do you want to do?
Me: Apparently you don’t understand. You see, if you don’t tell me what to do – I might not choose the right place, and then I’ll miss out on what you really have for my life. So…I need to know where you want me.
God: I want you to be where you want to be. I want you to believe who you know Me to be, and trust that I will be with you whatever you choose.

I think my exact thoughts at that point in time were “Phooey, He’s not going to tell me.” I had gone from being like a little kid with God, where He would instruct me like a father about exactly what to do, to feeling like God was sending me off to college. Now, I was going to have to make decisions on my own and trust my upbringing to guide me and reassure me that He would be with me through whatever I decide.

Indecision can be paralyzing. This I know. And maybe this is what this season is really about for me – to find freedom in trusting Him when the decision is up to me. For regardless of my decisions, His promises remain sure.

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:8

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

…for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Philippians 2:13

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