My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad

I was talking to my son the other day when, out of nowhere, he burst into tears. I asked him why he was crying and all I could make out in between sniffles was, “A kid in school was talking bad about sister and daddy.” That was a little surprising, so of course I asked him what the kid said. “He said his sister could beat up my sister and his daddy could beat up daddy…sob, sob, gasp, sniffle.”

While I fought back my laughter, I went through a series of ways I might respond,

“Who does that jive turkey think he is? Your daddy would mop the floor with his dad.”
–Too much like The Jeffersons.

“Oh, honey, now you tell me that boy’s name so I can check the directory and have a talk with his parents.”
—Too much like The Cunninghams.

“He’s just talking. Your dads would never have an opportunity to fight. Violence is never the answer. Besides he’s never even met your family.”
—Just the right dose of Huxtable.

After consoling him with some conglomeration of all my tv show parenting knowledge, we moved on. He grabbed a snack and got over it in an instant but I found myself thinking about it later on. Was he really concerned that his dad would lose the fight? Did he lack confidence in his dad’s ability to protect us? Had he seen the other guy and figured he was big enough to take his daddy? (Or was it just another hypoglycemic melt down?)

Who knows why six year olds come to the conclusions they do. The neat thing about our little exchange is that it reminded me how often we lack confidence in our Father’s ability to win the fight. I really wanted to tell my little guy to let that kid know his daddy ain’t no punk. That is the exact way we need to respond in the face of our enemy—”you can throw all you have our way, but our Daddy created the entire universe and can handle any attack you can conjure up.”

There’s a natural tendency in good fathers to want to protect their families at all costs. They were created in the image of our Heavenly Father who sacrificed his child so that we could live victoriously. Next time you’re confronted by that kid who’s calling your Father out, hear me saying, “your Daddy ain’t no punk.” Let that thought bring courage to your heart and know that He never loses a fight.

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