Happy Advent. I wanna be a dentist.

“I wanna be a dentist.”

My favorite line in “Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer”. That wonderful feeling of knowing, inherently, what you were created for. That awkward feeling of knowing it ain’t a popular choice.

Confession: I wanna be a homemaker.

Truth is, if there had been a degree to attain, such that I could make this a sure thing in my world, I would have graduated top of my class, driven by sheer gut desire. But there is no degree. No test. And while I do have two great jobs which I enjoy, I am not a homemaker.

Go ahead. Make fun. Or better yet…tell me about the great work ethic I am instilling in my kids. Tell me about how I’m teaching them discipline. Tell me how proud my kids will be of me when they see how hard I work for them.

It won’t make any difference.

I have a strong passion in my heart for something more.

The big G himself put it there. Actually, He grew it there.

I grew up watching my mother and two grandmothers “home make”. Yes, they made beds and they made dinner and other necessary home drudgeries. But they were also professional, albeit unpaid, memory-makers. They made warm and clean homes, covered with family photos and cheerful decorations. They made it to our games and our recitals. They made birthdays and holidays something really amazing. They made a home life so full of adventure, and belly-laughing, and FUN that we all grew up putting family above everything but God.

As for my kids? They know they are loved. That’s about as much as I can boast.

I could be satisfied with this victory (because it is certainly no small thing), if I wasn't painfully aware of how vastly different their childhood is from my own.

My house (at least my corner of it) is never organized, barely decorated, and I have almost no family photos on the walls. Birthdays and holidays are thrown together instead of savored. I miss almost every event at my kids’ school. Our “adventures” are squeezed into weekend schedules, if time permits, if my husband and I take care of all the other things that didn't get done Monday through Friday because…

I work. A lot. 

Most parents, for that matter, work…moms and dads alike. It’s what we do.

So I should dive in MORE, right? Embrace my 8-5 like it was the sole passion in my heart all along. Isn’t that what everyone is supposed to do these days? That’s probably what Sheryl Sandberg would have me do.

Except…

In my heart, I wanna be a dentist.

Er…um, I mean a homemaker.

And because God planted such a strong desire so firmly in my heart, I have unwavering hope that someday, the walls of my house will be filled with my wedding pictures, my smiling kids, and perhaps even a shot or two of adventures we have shared. Someday my kids will be able to count on me being at every game and every recital. Someday birthdays and holidays will be more than last-minute trips to Hallmark and Kroger.

How do I have the strength to hold on for “someday”?

Practice.

Ever since I started following Jesus, I have been waiting for “someday”. My King Jesus’ world is not popular by today’s standards either. But that’s all right.

His kingdom is not of this world. (John 18:36)

And I think, if any of us digs deep enough, we will see a strong desire etched on our hearts for that Kingdom. We will know that we are loved. Yet, we will know that our world, by comparison, is but a shadow of a Kingdom that was intended for us.

When we discover that etching, we will have the strength to hold on.

We will never lose hope in "someday".

Wait for it.

Happy Advent.